It started off strong. My game face was on and I was ready to tackle my incredibly long to-do list. Things on the to-do list included things that I've been meaning to get to for over 3 years. I struggle to finish tasks because when Bee is around, I always make sure my focus is on her. When she is off for a few days, I clean and organize like a mad woman. It works. This week though, despite starting off strong, ended with me on my knees, weaker than I thought. 

Summer days have us drifting away to the East coast of Canada. We went, we saw, we conquered. Our souls relaxed and re-set. A bucket list travel destination has been checked off for both Bee and I. The beauty of the East coast is breathtaking. Getting there, not so much. 

Did you enjoy it more this year than you would have last year? That question has sat with me for over 24 hours now. Chatting with my personal trainer about our recent trip to the East coast of Canada, I said it was an okay trip. There were a few things that hindered it from being amazing. He then proceeded to ask me that question. It's all I can think about....

Tears streamed down my face. I could not contain the tears no matter how hard I bit my lip and I did not care that people around me noticed my tears. They truly could not be contained. They were happy tears, tears of pride and peacefulness. They were tears of the past, caused by a glimpse into the old her. The old her I haven't seen in forever, not until the moment when she got onto the rings and was in her glory. 

Personal growth is something we all experience. It's continuous in life, it never stops, it doesn't' have an end. Sometimes the growth is positive and sometimes the growth is negative. Sometimes people refuse to grow and stay within themselves. Personal growth is also hard for people to acknowledge. How many of you could sit down and write out the ways you've grown over the years? It's hard, sometimes we refuse to look at the growth or fail to see it within ourselves. 

Wisdom is defined as "the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgement; the quality of being wise." Wisdom is a word I am often told I have. In order to gain wisdom, people must go through rigorous education and experience in a particular field. My wisdom stems from my trauma. 

This post is going to blow your mind because I'm going to go against a very well known thought regarding forgiveness. How many of you have heard the phrase, forgive, forget and move on? I'm sure at some point we've all heard that if you forgive it means you have strength, if you don't forgive it means you are weak. Or maybe you heard that forgiveness will allow you to free yourself, or there is no peace without forgiveness? Here's the thing, you don't have to forgive to achieve any of that. 

Locked my keys in the car. I didn't panic, I kept calm and dealt with it. You know what else was locked in there with my keys? My purse which contained my phone and my extra set of keys. I still didn't panic. I cursed the function of the car that automatically locks after a certain time once all doors are shut but I calmly walked inside, grabbed my moms CAA card and used their phone. 

It is believed that to see a fox is a symbol of luck. While pregnant with Bee I remember sitting at Ty and Jacob's graves, as I often did in those days, and a fox walked right in front of me. I was caught off guard as foxes in the middle of the day typically mean the fox isn't all that healthy, nonetheless, when I got home I researched what it meant to see a fox. Research led me to the answer of "to see a fox is a symbol of good luck." At the time I prayed it meant the baby I was carrying would live and not be buried beside her brothers. 

There is something peaceful and renewing about mornings. It feels like a fresh start and the best thing is, that feeling of a fresh start happens every day! I may wake up tired and groggy some mornings but once I meander out to my dining room/sewing room/computer room (perks of small house living) to sit and enjoy the beauty of outside, my soul feels renewed. It feels like it can tackle anything today.....until life happens.