The time of help and comfort from others in my situation has ended. Our monthly women's group is no more. Perhaps it may make a come back with the new staff and I sure hope it does because surrounding yourself with a group of people who have or are going through the trauma you are is incredibly powerful.. To sit amongst those who understand your feelings, thoughts, actions, responses and emotions, it's healing.
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It started off strong. My game face was on and I was ready to tackle my incredibly long to-do list. Things on the to-do list included things that I've been meaning to get to for over 3 years. I struggle to finish tasks because when Bee is around, I always make sure my focus is on her. When she is off for a few days, I clean and organize like a mad woman. It works. This week though, despite starting off strong, ended with me on my knees, weaker than I thought.
Summer days have us drifting away to the East coast of Canada. We went, we saw, we conquered. Our souls relaxed and re-set. A bucket list travel destination has been checked off for both Bee and I. The beauty of the East coast is breathtaking. Getting there, not so much.
Did you enjoy it more this year than you would have last year? That question has sat with me for over 24 hours now. Chatting with my personal trainer about our recent trip to the East coast of Canada, I said it was an okay trip. There were a few things that hindered it from being amazing. He then proceeded to ask me that question. It's all I can think about....
Tears streamed down my face. I could not contain the tears no matter how hard I bit my lip and I did not care that people around me noticed my tears. They truly could not be contained. They were happy tears, tears of pride and peacefulness. They were tears of the past, caused by a glimpse into the old her. The old her I haven't seen in forever, not until the moment when she got onto the rings and was in her glory.
Personal growth is something we all experience. It's continuous in life, it never stops, it doesn't' have an end. Sometimes the growth is positive and sometimes the growth is negative. Sometimes people refuse to grow and stay within themselves. Personal growth is also hard for people to acknowledge. How many of you could sit down and write out the ways you've grown over the years? It's hard, sometimes we refuse to look at the growth or fail to see it within ourselves.
Wisdom is defined as "the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgement; the quality of being wise." Wisdom is a word I am often told I have. In order to gain wisdom, people must go through rigorous education and experience in a particular field. My wisdom stems from my trauma.
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October 2020
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