Boundaries are an important part of life yet so many struggle to set them. Setting boundaries is uncomfortable, facing someones boundaries can be just as uncomfortable. We struggle to set boundaries because most don't like confrontation and want to please everyone. The thing is, we can't please everyone so we need to please ourselves first (I, to this day, have a sticker that says that and find it a good reminder). Take care of you and the rest will follow, sure, but what if you get anxious to set boundaries because you don't want to face backlash?
To that I say, those people probably don't belong in your life anyways and even more so, they are the ones who need boundaries set by you. I admit, I still struggle with boundaries. I'm more likely to excuse behavior or incidents time and time again. I'm the one more likely to tell people; things happen, life happens, I get it, it's okay.
But not today! Today I was pushed and had to be rather direct with a company and oh my, it felt so wrong and I felt so guilty but it did what it needed to do. Lets just say 9 weeks ago I went in to have a service completed by a local business. I was told at the time this service would take 2-4 weeks to complete. With certain events coming up (more blogs to come, the joy of the anxiety lately whew!) I needed this service complete by a certain date, which I made clear in my initial meeting. I went in today to check on this as its been 9 weeks and they hadn't even started the process.
I smiled and said thanks and walked out but as I left, it sat wrong within me. I am paying for a service that was suppose to be completed 5 weeks ago and it hasn't even been started. My date is coming up, it needs to be done. I came home and wrote an e-mail. I tried to be kind but rather direct. I let them know I was not pleased and explained the situation but after hitting send, I felt guilty. Why? I don't know. I know setting boundaries is important and this is a boundary that needed to be set. There was no passive aggressive nature to this matter, there was no passiveness at all to this matter. This had to be dealt with and it had to be dealt with now.
Two hours later, I received an email that the service has been complete and I am able to pick up my paperwork. I still feel guilty, the anxiety of the whole situation still sits heavy on my chest. I wanted to avoid confrontation, I wanted to look elsewhere and just tell them I would be taking my business to another place. That was the old me though, I let people walk all over me, businesses included. I would do anything to avoid confrontation.
This year it has been different, though it still makes me anxious and uncomfortable, I am holding people accountable, especially businesses. I get things happen but I'm done with being so passive to matters that require attention. I am done with letting people walk all over me. I will set boundaries and even though it makes me uncomfortable, I will face confrontation. It apparently gets shit done.
Set those boundaries and free yourself from the footprints of others upon you! Rise up to the level of respect and service you deserve, don't take shit from anyone and if you get push back, push back! Drop the guilt (I'm working on it) and hold people accountable for reasonable expectations. And yes I do write a lot about boundaries, because they are so important!!!!
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All Of My Children
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