Through all my years of counselling and therapy, one (of many) thing has stuck. Shortly after Ty died I was told to find one thing a day for me. This thing could take as little as 5 minutes up to a full hour but whatever it was, it was to be done for me, One thing I could do for myself every single day.
Ty died October 15th,during my favourite season, Fall. I live outside in the Fall, the cool, sunny breeze is soothing for the soul. I initially decided that going for a walk every day would be my thing. I loved it. I could walk for hours all over the place and just freely let the tears fall, no one was watching me. I would walk and think, I would walk and cry, I would walk and plan, I would walk and breathe. Walking lasted about a month until Winter rolled in and I hibernate during the winter so I had to find something else to replace my walks.
I needed one thing I could do every day, consistently, for me. I was not in the place to read or do yoga or sew and I realized those choices couldn't remain consistent. I needed to find something I could do everyday for myself no matter the weather, the time of day or where I may be so I chose a shower. Every single day since November 2010, I have had a hot shower in the morning.
I'll admit, I am a little possessive of my shower these days. It has become my thing. It is my thing I need to do in order to start my day. If I wake up cold, I look forward to my hot shower. If I wake up tired, I look forward to my hot shower. If I wake up sad, I know I can cry away my tears in the shower. My time in the shower isn't just about the warmth surrounding me and providing comfort, it isn't just a time to cleanse my body but also my mind. It is a time to let my mind wander to where it needs to go, it allows my anxiety to think about my previous days conversations or 100 possible things that may happen in the day ahead. It gives me a starting point to the day.
There have been people in my life who do not understand why my morning showers are so important to me. I'd be lost without them. It use to bother me but I don't give a shit much anymore. My showers are my thing, I need them to ground me and get me rooted in the day, People may think its silly or wasteful or whatever, but I genuinely do not care. Phoebe has come to understand the importance of my showers, she knows that is mommy's me time and that it is important to mommy and respects that.
When talking to others, I often mention to find one thing a day. Find one thing for you, one thing you can do consistently no matter where you are. It may be breathing or meditating for 5 minutes. It could be colouring in a book or on your phone. It could be logging onto Youtube and watching a funny or cute video, whatever it is, find something that connects your soul to the outside world, find something that makes you realize you are indeed alive. find something that brings peace and calmness or laughter to your heart.
Facing mental health struggles, recovering my trauma, whatever your situation, baby steps are so important, no matter how small or how long they take and finding one thing to do for yourself everyday consistently will help you take those steps. It will help ground you and bring mindfulness to your space. I can't stress it enough, go find your one thing! Find your one thing and if you feel the need to, share below, maybe it will inspire someone else to find their one thing.
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All Of My Children
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