Personal growth is something we all experience. It's continuous in life, it never stops, it doesn't' have an end. Sometimes the growth is positive and sometimes the growth is negative. Sometimes people refuse to grow and stay within themselves. Personal growth is also hard for people to acknowledge. How many of you could sit down and write out the ways you've grown over the years? It's hard, sometimes we refuse to look at the growth or fail to see it within ourselves.
It's a struggle I continue to have. I do not doubt 100% that I have grown, through all my experiences and life lessons, I most certainly have grown. I'd like to think it's been mostly positive and that I have identified the negative and am working on it. But, to look in oneself and see the growth, the positive growth more specifically, is hard.
Counseling today challenged me into thinking about how far I have come over the sessions I have had. I couldn't come up with a solid answer. I know areas I have identified that I need to work on, areas that are holding me back in life. Those were easy to see, it's always easy to see the negative, especially when we are evaluating ourselves. The voice in the back of our head that points out all our flaws, it's loud. The voice that points out our vulnerability, it's quiet, the voice that points out our strengths, it's quiet. Strengths are not as easily recognized or rewarded as are weaknesses.
One big weakness of mine I identified was self-esteem or the lack thereof. I've known it for awhile but never wanted to admit it. I wanted to hide behind the mask of the imaginary life. It's safe there, it's comfortable there, I don't even have to leave my house to be there. It feels good to be behind that mask but it keeps me from growing. When we fail to acknowledge or identify those weaknesses, those negative behaviours we have, we fail to allow ourselves the opportunity to grow.
When we lie, manipulate ourselves and others into our fake beliefs, we are only hurting ourselves. In order to grow you must become vulnerable. In every successful relationship there is vulnerability. Vulnerability for others but also with yourself. In order to grow you have to take a look inside and not only see but acknowledge the not so good parts. Be vulnerable and let yourself grow.
Don't hold onto the old stuff, look forward to the new. Create the new. It's never too late to start over in life. Personal growth can feel so rewarding you just have to acknowledge it yourself, it also means acknowledging those not so great parts but being gentle on yourself and making a plan to work on those as well. Be vulnerable with you, find out who you are, give yourself room to grow, no one is perfect, everyone has the room to grow continuously.
One must look within to grow without - Me
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