Living The Future - Self Improvement

Focusing on oneself is hard for a lot of people. It tends to make them uncomfortable, they don't want to face their weaknesses but in order to create a healthy livable future, you have to be open to self improvement. No matter what background you came from, what traumatic events you experience that were by no means your fault, you still have to be open to improve. If you want to grow and evolve into an even more magical being, it starts with self-improvement. 

It's important to mention that when you are thinking about self improvement, there will have been situations and events in your past that were by no means your fault. Please keep that in mind when doing this exercise. I don't mean that you could have improved yourself to avoid the traumatic things that happened to you, or that you could have done something differently to stop it. It's not possible in all situations so don't focus on those moments but rather focus on things in those moments you wanted to change. Refer back to your boundaries and see if there are things you can change now in order to stick to those boundaries. 

Nobody is perfect, we all have things we can work on throughout our lives. Once you start addressing your past and creating boundaries, ways in which you can improve yourself will start to become apparent. Sometimes you need to work on self-improvement first before creating further boundaries because a different version of you may have different boundaries. 

Covid has pushed many people into self-reflection. What else are we to do with all this extra time at home on our hands? Now is the time people are growing, changing and evolving. Personally, during the last 6 months I have dug deep into myself and started to see a clearer picture of where I want to be in life. With it comes self-improvement. The thing with self-improvement is, it will look different for everyone. Not one person will have the same self-improvement path as you. What I talk about as far as self-improvement will vary for you and you and you. Sure, there may be aspects of it that we all share, the goal is to become a better person and grow, everyone will share that, but the way in which it is done, the timing, the details, those will all differ. Take what I am doing and apply it to your life in a way that works for you. 

The first step in self-improvement is knowing what you want for your future. I struggle with this, goals dreams etc, they all seem so pointless when you've gone through what I have, but I know they serve a purpose. I've reflected on the things in my life that were making me unhappy, that I wished were different. I can't change what happened but I can change my future to reflect what I desire through action. I have to become a better person, for me most importantly, but if I am to make a difference in this world for the better, to take all the trauma I have been through and help others, there are some things I need to improve. 

I know I need to secure some sort of steady income. I know I need to take care of my health. I know I need to work on my social anxiety so that I may overcome my fear of public speaking. I know that as open as I am, there's always room to be more empathetic and hear others. I don't mean just listen to others, I mean truly hear them. I know that I need to learn to say no to protect my energy and space. I know that I am allowed to change my thoughts and feelings and admit when I was wrong. I know I need to work on accepting where I am instead of where I wanted to be. I know I need to get things in order, to become more self sufficient. I know I don't have to make all the decisions right now at this moment. All of these things, piece by piece, are a journey. It took me 10 years to get where I am, it won't change overnight. I need to improve my thoughts around that, there's a lot of impatience over here. 

How did I get to this point? Years of EMDR therapy led me here. I had to address my past first. I can not move into the future with strings attached to the past. Once I worked through clearing some of the things from the past, I set boundaries around what I would and would not accept anymore (boundaries in themselves are self-improvement). Once I built the foundation, the base for my growth, I began to work on self-improvement. I saw areas of weakness in my past, I saw boundaries that were pushed and I know to live a healthy life in the future, I had to work on those. 

I started to gain a better or more precise look into my future and what I wanted. There are things from the past that I still do want in my future and will strive to get, there's also new things popping up as life goes on and crazy things happen. Self-improvement for me includes: continuing my school work, looking for a new job, working on my book, working on my kids book, eating healthy, staying active (mentally and physically) continuing counseling, continuing my spiritual journey through different modes of practitioners, being open to signs being sent my way, learning to trust and love again, protecting my energy, and learning to say no. All of these are going to lead me into a better person. Each one will teach me a lesson, each one will open my eyes, guide me further and spread more love.

Along the way I expect there to be more bumps or path changes. Along the way I may have to abandon some of the forms of self-improvement that I am aiming towards to alter and change towards the path I am re-directed on. I don't know what the future holds but the thing is I don't need to. Yes, it is easier when you have anxiety to make plans and feel like you have control but I also know that plans don't usually go according to what you want, they end up coming into your life differently than what you expected. It doesn't mean I have to stop and just wait for things to happen. Self-improvement begins with action so I am taking the steps, making the changes, being open and altering my life's path, maybe unconventionally to some but who are we kidding, my last 10 years has been unconventional so I'm just going with it. It's working out for me so far. What steps will you take today to begin self-improvement?