There is something peaceful and renewing about mornings. It feels like a fresh start and the best thing is, that feeling of a fresh start happens every day! I may wake up tired and groggy some mornings but once I meander out to my dining room/sewing room/computer room (perks of small house living) to sit and enjoy the beauty of outside, my soul feels renewed. It feels like it can tackle anything today.....until life happens.
Even with the big white ugly wall behind us (it's a house) the trees we have planted will cover it in a few years and in the meantime, there's so many lush green plants to look at. Our yard is filled with birds (baby robins at the moment) chipmunks, squirrels, all out for their morning breakfast scavenging. My door is often opened early on to let the fresh air in. I can see the sun rising over the trees. I can hear the birds chirp. I can smell summer. It's so invigorating. Even during the winter when I can't open the door, the beauty of the snow softly falling, it wakes me up. It's the raw beauty of watching the sun rise, almost unpeeling my soul. Showing me the beauty of life and all that is in it. It's a tad intimate, warm and cozy.
It provides peaces for me. It re-sets my priorities and gives me a new breath of life. All of these wonderful sensations typically last 30 minutes to an hour, then life happens. The weight of things needing to be done, the challenges I am up against for the day, the stomach starting to rumble and needing to figure out what to eat, the cats all demanding attention, decisions need to be made, appointments have to be attended, life has to go on through chores, daily tasks, I have yet to learn how to hold onto the peace feeling I feel each morning. I need to learn to carry it through the day. Some days I have achieved this while others see lots of ice cream treats.
Days end has me writing jumbles of mess. I can't think clearly as my brain is exhausted from all the days work. It has already checked out begging me to stop playing wordscape and go to bed! Darkness of the night sets in and the weight of the day sits firmly on my shoulders. I process what has happened during the day and think about tomorrows to do list. I know I can manage it, even the uncomfortable stuff, but that's because I'm standing up for myself and speaking my mind, I'm setting boundaries not to be pushed around and it's uncomfortable. Confronting issues, it has to be done.
The peace of the morning has long since passed but I know one thing, tomorrow morning when I wake up, it will be right back there with me. Maybe for tomorrow, it will hold on a bit longer. Actually not tomorrow, shit is happening early on, that peace will be enjoyed for a whole 5 minutes before life starts happening. Perhaps the next day, maybe that peaceful feeling will stay a few more minutes day by day until it carries me through an entire day until one day I look outside in the dark and see the illumination of the garden lights shinning back in at me and notice how they give a peaceful feeling as well.
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All Of My Children
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