In the last post about writing for the third part we look at the future. I know this may be a struggle for many people, I use to be one of those people who had a hard time with the future. The future meant having goals, dreams, aspirations, it meant making plans and taking steps to achieve what I wanted in life. That can seem daunting and scary at a time like this and again, completely normal and healthy reactions to what is going on. I still encourage you to think about a few small things if thats all you can do, just think of one thing you are looking forward to when this is all over.
It can be something small or something big. By yourself or with people. It can be completely life changing, maybe all this time taking a step back has opened your eyes and you will be taking a new way in life, just think of one thing and write it down, what is something you look forward to doing again. Maybe its a lot of what is on your missing list, maybe doing those things again is what you are looking forward to.
What I look forward to:
These are just a few of the many things I am looking forward to. If you notice, they emulate a lot of what was on my I miss post. The truth its, Bee and I live a pretty quiet, simple, outdoor life. We spend time with cherished family and friends. Not much is different for us but even then, there are things I want to invest into more once I am able to. Invest is my word of the year and 2020, as shitty as this pandemic is, it's still going to be my year.
Everything continues to manifest into my life what I have put out. Pandemic and all, I am reminded of what is important and forced to reflect on what I truly want. I have been able to identify more precisely during this time and fine tune what I am manifesting. Don't get me wrong, I still have a whack load of anxiety but it's more of a excited anxiety and at times a fearful anxiety. Or as I like to call it, the feeling of being fearfully excited. So many of us have been impacted by the pandemic, for some life will change as we know it. For most, new ways of interacting socially will be implemented until we figure out more about this virus but don't wait until then to live. Live now. Live in the tiny bubble you have created for yourself. Make that space the most amazing, most peaceful, most calming bubble that you can revert to any time you need too.
I understand that bubble is hell on earth for some, being forced to stay home with people who are abusive (men, women and children) it's not a safe bubble and for you, I hope you find a way out. I hope you are able to escape. I hope you are able to create a new safer bubble for you to carry on a new life.
For those that have safe bubbles, we're getting there. Focus on what you are looking forward to and each week as more things can re-open, hold onto that hope and excitement for the things on your list. This week provincial parks opened, one small step. This week we spent 3 hours doing a 14K bike ride at our favourite provincial park. We packed a picnic lunch, strapped it to my bike and stopped half way through and had lunch by the riverside. It was only Bee and I. The sun, the warmth, the river slowly flowing, the birds, the turtles basking and the smell of spring breathed life into us. We held onto that moment. We will be back again. It was one small step and something we looked forward to. We look forward to many more trips back to our happy place.
One important thing to do while in the midst of grief is try and hold onto hope. Hope looks different for everyone. After Jacob died I held onto a future that included a child. I held into that hope until it happened. It's different than what I had envisioned, better than I could have ever imagined. I held onto that hope, it gave me something to focus on and reflect upon daily. Many of us are lucky to be able to return to a semi-same normal. Some of us will choose a new normal and some of us will revert back into old way. We are being shaped by what is going on but regardless of what is happening, write your list. What do you want in your future. What do you look forward to? Look back at the things you miss and see if they belong on your looking forward to list. Some may, some may not.
Physically writing things down is an exercise therapists and counselors recommend. It connects the brain to body. You write your thoughts into existence. When they are on paper, they feel more real. They feel more attainable. They bring light to what is swirling in your mind. They allow you to not only think but see what you are envisioning. It gives you one more step to bring forth what your heart may desire. I encourage everything to take some down and write things that you are looking forward to. You may only be able to write down one or two things and that's okay. You may only be able to write down something like the sun. You look forward to the sun and it's warmth and that is okay. Whatever you write down is for you no matter how big or small, no matter how many or how little, it is you. So go forth and write today! If you feel up to it, hare below in the comments. What is one thing you are looking forward to?
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