What To Do When You Are Down And Out *Lots Of F Bombs*

Ever have a day when you feel down and out? Where you feel the heaviness of life, re-experience all your trauma? When getting out of bed seems like an insurmountable task? When sitting on the couch all day and eating ice cream seems like the only palatable option? Ever have a week when you feel this way? What do you do? How do you cope? 

Coping with mental health issues can sometimes be very challenging. Every person is different but there is one thing I think we can all relate to. We all need to do what we need to do to make it through. Stay in bed all day, sit on the couch and eat ice cream, if that's what you need to do to make it through, do it. But here's another key point, do it without guilt. 

Ohh the good old g word, guilt. How many of you have had days like the above and feel horrible that you weren't able to do more? I've been there, I was there for awhile after Ty and Jacob died, after my first few months of separation. I've been there. I've had those days. I've had those moments. Life can feel insurmountably overwhelming at times. But if I've learned one (of many) lessons through life, doing what you need to do is great but doing it without guilt is even better. 

You have to come to a point in your life when you don't give a fuck for the non-important things. There's a great book out there I encourage you to read called The Life-changing Magic Of Not Giving A Fuck by Sarah Knight. In this book you, wait for it, read about learning how not to give a fuck and its life changing!  Part of coping is learning not to give a fuck. The thing is, it's not easy. It doesn't happen overnight, it doesn't happen with the flip of a switch. It takes work, just like everything in life takes work. 

Not giving a fuck will help you when you are down and out. It will allow you to see that if you only manage to get out of bed, if you only manage to get half dressed, if you only manage to take a shower, if you only manage eating one tub of ice cream, if you only manage a short walk around the block, any of the ways you manage and cope, all of that is okay. Being down and out gives you mind, body and soul a rest. Taking a rest is not a bad thing. Re-setting is not a bad thing. Feeling great about not doing anything is not a bad thing.  We all have days where we are down and out, it's a normal part of life. A day or two here or there, even a week is okay. I know some people struggle more than that and I truly hope you are getting the help you need. To manage the days that pop up, perhaps a bad day at work, an illness or the news, whatever it may be, being down and out for a day, do what you need to do, you will get through. 

I know it's not easy, this coming from a two time full term loss, one miscarriage and a divorce life, trust me, it took me a long time to get here and I still have days but I've learned how to cope and drop the guilt and most importantly (still working on this one) I've learned not to give a fuck. We have one life, I don't have time to worry about how other people view what I do to cope, I don't have time to feel guilty about what I need to do to cope and I surely do not have time to give a fuck where a fuck is not deserved. 

Drop the guilt, cope how you need to and try not to give a fuck.